B is for Benign

Last Friday I got the best news ever. That the results of my double breast ultrasound had come back as Benign. In my happy relief, I suddenly wondered, well then what are those lumps in my boobs? My doctor explained that the left is a fibroadenoma and the right a clump of fibrocystic tissue.

What the heck are these things? Well, a fibroadenoma is a clump of fibrous and glandular tissue. According to Wikipedia, there lumps are referred to as breast mice owing to their high mobility in the breast. Should I leave out some vegan cheese for these little friends?

As for the fibrocystic tissue this seemly means I have lots of lumps and bumps in my super dense tah-tahs. No smooth moves here.

Now that I've expanded my vocabulary, I asked the doctor, "What can I do to make sure I don't get any more and that these lumps disappear?" His response, "They get smaller with age." The opposite of wine.
I kind of expected to be underwhelmed by his answer. I feel like while allopathic medicine offers many healing wonders it overlooks prevention and out of the box thinking.

I've been reading Spontaneous Healing by Dr. Weil and highly recommend the book to anyone battling a sickness. The book details many individual stories of healing as well as outlines what you can do to boost your own spontaneous healing. The section on healing visualizations has been most enlightening for me. This is one area that at times I've overlooked or not utilized nearly enough.

It's amazing the power the mind has over our bodies. If you don't believe me take into account the effect sexual daydreams have on the body. That's simply the mind at work.

There are a number of healing visuals and breathing exercises I've been trying to incorporate. One I really like it to lie or sit quietly with eyes closed. Recite these lines in your mind. With each line, breathe out fully then take a full breath in.

Before me peaceful
Behind me peaceful
Above me peaceful
Below me peaceful
All around me peaceful.

From this point I usually speak to specific areas of my body. I picture myself sitting before a cozy fire place, surrounded by candles or in a sunny, warm place. As I refer to a specific body part I imagine it experience absolute peace and it's image in my mind's eye is one of perfect health and vibrance. Kind of weird to picture sinuses but stick with me here. For example you could add:

My left sinuses peaceful
My right sinuses peaceful
My left breast peaceful
My right breast peaceful
My lungs peaceful
My right knee peaceful

And so on.

Give it a try if you're feeling like you're having trouble relaxing or battling some sort of illness.

Lumpy Boobs

Last Thursday I had my yearly mammography. I also requested an ultrasound. The night before the test I had had dinner with a friend who said a series of mammographies never detected the lump in her breast. It was an ultrasound that confirmed her suspicion. So the receptionist called my OBGYN who quickly faxed over a prescription for an ultrasound.

Whoever designed the mammography machine had several advanced degrees in designing crude and unusual torture devices. My favorite moment was when my boobs were squished between several tons of radioactive machinery the tech said, "Don't move." Where exactly did she think I was skipping of to?

When my boobs were finally released from the tight squeeze I was allowed to sit in a waiting sort of area. I looked around my surroundings in hopes of finding some sort of diversion to pass the time. What did I see? Wall art of clocks. Really? Who's idea was this. I can just imagine the brainstorm session when it came to decorating the waiting area.

"What kind of soothing imagery can we adorn the walls of the breast screening waiting area?

"Images of Paris!"

"Mountains!"

"Sunsets!"

"I got it! Clocks."

By the way, it was a cool melting Dali clock.

After waiting about half an hour I was called into a closet where there was an examining table and an ultrasound machine. I laid down as the tech squirted gel on me. I was surprised that the gel had been warmed. I had this procedure in 2009 and I recall a freezing cold room, cold gel and a rude wand being pressed without care over my boobs. I became so hardened and cold that I was concerned about being confused for a cadaver. This year's was already better. The wand was also warmed and the room wasn't set to Sub Zero temps.

At some point the tech stopped. I looked at her screen. I saw her zoom in on an oval black shape. I had seen this done before during past ultrasounds. I wasn't concerned. Then she moved onto my other breast and did the same stop and zoom motion. She finished. Handed me a paper towel to cover myself with. Is this Marc Jacobs? She said she was going to show the doctor and she'd be back in a moment. So me and my non designer paper towel hung out for about ten minutes.

Then in walked a doctor. I knew something was up when he extended his hand to mine. He said, "We found a little lump in each breast. You'll come back so we can do a biopsy of each. We'll numb the area first and then do the biopsy."

WTF?!

The doctor exited. The tech gave me a wad of scratchy paper towels. I think I may have cut a nipple in trying to wipe away all of the gel from my chest. I started to get dressed in the ultrasound closet when the tech told me to take it to a changing room. I wrapped my hospital top around me, grabbed my stuff and left.

So tomorrow is the date of my biopsies. I've been doing lots of stuff to prepare for this. I'm reading Spontaneous Healing by Dr. Andrew Weil. Love it. Amazing anecdotes and tips. This one passage really hit home:

It is not a good idea to stay in treatment with a doctor who thinks you cannot get better. 

This reminded me of my previous ENT who had said when I asked him why I kept getting sick that I was like him and I would always be sick. The book talks about a negative placebo affect caused by doctors telling patients things like my old ENT told me. Other examples include: "You have a greater chance of getting colon cancer," or, "You have 2 years to live." If you hear these from your doctor, please find another who can lead you on a path to healing.

Some other things I've been doing is drinking green juice everyday, eating raw garlic which enhances the body's natural immune system and blocks the formation of some carcinogens (I smush it in guacamole), taking extra Vitamin C, exercising everyday even if it's just walking from jury duty to work (that's what I did today), and lots of healing visualizations.

Today I popped into Organic Avenue on my way into work and asked the woman working, "What's good for disintegrating lumps in breasts?" She suggested the Chlorophyll Booster Shot. I also left with a small bottle of Green Love. I drank half the booster mixed with the Green Love and the rest straight. I feel amazing. I'm planning to buy a couple more for tonight and pre-biospy.