Relief in Writing

Today at the grade parent meeting, I told Gretchen that I'm trying to write my way to relief by online journaling. She asked what the difference is between an online journal and a blog. I admitted that I was actually blogging but not providing any search terms. It's easier than handwriting. I'm using a blog as a free journal. Paper ain't cheap.

Tonight along with 3 other moms and kids, Eastwood and I Escaped The Room. It was so much fun and I didn't cough or blow my nose even once. The Z pack is making me feel beyond Z. Although, my head really hurts.

I need to stock up on more gluten free food options. Maybe eating gluten is making me get sick. Not sure what it is exactly but I need to figure it out. I know I can get back to being strong. It's just a matter of time and perseverance.

I thought I was invincible

Sick. Again. I'm back in that cycle of sore throat, runny nose, fever. Instead of it leaving my body after torturing me for a week it grabs my head, putting it in a vice grip and drowning my sinuses in thick pistachio pudding that I choke and heave with each cough.

I think I have no choice but to start the Z pack in the morning. I'd start it now but I took a half of an anti-fungal. I think I have to start writing again. I have to promise myself that I won't get sick. I have to promise myself to stick to my diet. I have to promise myself that I won't touch food that others have. I promise not to touch my eyes. Not to touch my mouth. Not to touch my face at all. I promise not to touch my phone to my face. I promise myself that I'll be extra prudent everyday. I won't slip up. I have to promise myself that I can go 3 months without going on antibiotics. Three months would be a new record. When I hit three I have to aim for four. When I hit four I have to aim for six. I must stay focused on the goal. A year without antibiotics.

Sure, I'm sick. Starting to run a fever. again My cough is getting painful. My mucous is drowning me. But still this isn't as bad as the sinus infections that I used to get. I just don't understand why it won't go away.

1 Month Anniversary

I've managed to make it one entire month without oral antibiotics or steroids. (Although I have been using both in my sinus wash.) Go me! When I restarted writing in this blog I decided I would document each milestone as a way to keep me powered through my plight. However, I had a set back last week when I received a call from my Endocrinologist.

I have an appointment this Thursday with the doc to find out what's up. In the meantime, I wait, wonder and worry. What will he say?

Writing Down The Bones

Ugh. What a way to begin a post. Back on July 11th I had my twice yearly blood work as prescribed by the endocrinologist who's monitoring my osteoporosis. I had a CTX test to check for calcium loss and a test to check my D3 level.

Yesterday the Endo's office called. There was a change in my levels and the doctor wants to see me.
I am petrified to take any bisphosphonates. I tried searching positive reviews of the various drugs. I found nothing but negative ones. Actually horrifying is more accurate. Be sure to grab a box of tissues before reading these page turners.

Fosamax

http://www.consumeraffairs.com/rx/fosamax.html

Boniva

http://www.webmd.com/drugs/drugreview-92884-Boniva+Oral.aspx?drugid=92884&drugname=Boniva+Oral

Atelvia

http://www.rxlist.com/script/main/rxlist_view_comments.asp?drug=atelvia&questionid=fdb154925_pem&page=2

I have read that another treatment option or osteoporosis is bioidentical hormone replacement therapy. This is the only course that seems to have benefits without horrifying side effects.

If anyone out there is actually reading this blog and has any experience with bisphosphonates or bioidentical hormone therapy for the treatment of osteoporosis or osteopenia please share. I am eager and interested for opinions and insight. Thank you in advance. 

Secondly, what do you think of the guy playing Bones in the new Star Trek movies? He looks about as mad as I feel upon hearing that I'm getting called into the Endo's office.

Tele-BAM

I've been doing amazingly well on my cleanse. I've gotten used to avocado on rice cakes and Metagenic shake. Lunch:greens, cucumbers, zucchini, avocado, bell peppers with lemon and olive oil plus berries. Dinner: some sort of protein, sweet potato or acorn squash and veggies. And another shake or two depending on hunger levels. I even added in a tiny bit of dark chocolate with no issue. My sinuses were so clear that I swore I smelled my husband's fart. He denied it.

But then my mom came to town. So, I've been dining out with her each evening. Sticking to my diet really well. Except last night I ate some gluten at Telepan. Today I'm suffering big time. Ugh. Well, at least I know exactly what made me sick.

Back to my cleanse. Hoping things clear up as quickly as they set back in. Ten steps forward. Three back.

Feeling Good in DC

I knew getting away for a few days in Washington, DC would be good for me. I had this deep feeling that being on the go, wandering around the capital as opposed to sitting at a freezing cold desk all day would simply make me feel better and help my sinuses open. My prediction came true. I definitely felt better leaving DC than before. I'm not sure if it was my positive outlook or the walking around a new setting or both.

I started a medical cleanse Sunday. I must admit the limited diet is making a difference. My sinuses are improving. I'm also using nasal irrigation meds. I visited the ENT today. She took a look and said I look much better than I did two weeks ago. But that I do have some inflamed, swollen polypoid tissues. No polyps. She said to continue doing what I'm doing and add back in the Qnasl spray.

I awoke at precisely 2:12am and heard the birds chirping like mad. I thought back to the story of the Japanese man who would awaken wiht the birds and breath in the fresh oxygen. I was too tired to step outside. I took a deep breath from my bed and feel back asleep.

Love Hate Relationship

For years I've had a hate relationship with my body whenever I get sick. I hate my sinuses. I hate my nose. I hate my body.

While reading Radical Remission by Kelly Turner, one passage details a cancer patient who noticed that most of the dialogue between patient and disease was one of hating and killing the cancer inside. However, this particular patient did just the opposite. He began to love his cancer and feel compassion for it. He saw the cancer as a part of him. A part of him that was sending him a message that something wasn't right. The cancer was an opportunity for him to make a change. The more love he sent to his cancer, the more easy he found healing. And he did heal from Cancer, becoming free of the disease.

The past few days, when I feel the intense I congestion in my sinuses I've been sending thoughts of love to my body. My sinuses seem to be opening up a bit since last week's melt down. Maybe love works on a cellular level.