Love Hate Relationship

For years I've had a hate relationship with my body whenever I get sick. I hate my sinuses. I hate my nose. I hate my body.

While reading Radical Remission by Kelly Turner, one passage details a cancer patient who noticed that most of the dialogue between patient and disease was one of hating and killing the cancer inside. However, this particular patient did just the opposite. He began to love his cancer and feel compassion for it. He saw the cancer as a part of him. A part of him that was sending him a message that something wasn't right. The cancer was an opportunity for him to make a change. The more love he sent to his cancer, the more easy he found healing. And he did heal from Cancer, becoming free of the disease.

The past few days, when I feel the intense I congestion in my sinuses I've been sending thoughts of love to my body. My sinuses seem to be opening up a bit since last week's melt down. Maybe love works on a cellular level.

Double Biopsies

"I have another one." The tech spoke into the phone as I lay with a napkin covering my chest on the exam table. I wasn't sure if I was supposed to mentally prepare for a steak dinner or a double biopsy. Make that another two.

I asked her if it were normal to have to biopsy both breasts. "Yes, we do a lot." Probably what she neglected to say was, "Double biopsies double the charge to your insurance."


"Why no green tea?" I asked next. It was one of the no-nos on a list which included Naproxen, Motrin and blood thinners.
"We're taking it off the list," she answered.
"Why was it there in the first place?"
No response.

A few minutes later the doctor entered. I asked if anything had appeared on my mammogram or if only the lumps were visible on the ultrasound. "Your mammo was normal and probably nothing bad will be revealed by the biopsies." What I heard was, "We're only doing this to make some money off you. Thanks for the donation."


Having lived through fifty-six sinus vacuumings, I think I have a high threshold for pain and discomfort. There was a sting as the doctor injected my righty with a local anesthetic to numb the area. Then he had a biopsy probe which I did my best not to look at. I didn't feel the specimen collector pierce my skin, but I did feel the slightest of pressure. The freaky part was that it seemed to take some real elbow power from the doctor to work the probe through my tissue and find the evil lump.

"There's going to be a snapping sound," the doctor cautioned.

I considered adding some clapping or whistling to the snapping but both were hard from a lying down position.

The mechanism for collecting the sample had a spring attachment that dug deep to get a piece of me. The biopsy kind of reminded me of the fake pieces of gum I had as a kid. When you went to grab a piece, a metal spring snapped your finger. However the biopsy was surprisingly less painful. Either way I didn't get a piece of gum.

Instead my lefty was shot with a needle of numbing juice. This time the doctor proceeded to collect three samples. Must be some lump to go for a trifecta. As he was "collecting",  he and the tech were watching the ultrasound screen. They commented that that lump was decreasing in size. I asked what they meant. The doctor explained that as he took samples the lump was simply getting smaller. Sounded good to me.

Afterwards he placed Bandaids in the shape of Xs on the two spots where he inserted needles. As for the results, the doctor said, "I'll call on Friday and by the looks of things everything should be normal." "Next time could you eat more Big Macs and M&Ms?"

I got redressed then meet my husband in the lobby. We left the doctor's office and walked through Central Park. I wondered what the point of a mammogram is if an ultrasound is better at detecting tissue changes. We stopped at Belvedere Castle where we discovered that the city's weather tracking equipment is housed in the stone structure. Whenever you get a local weather report, it's being recorded right in the park. We walked around, peering out windows at the overcast day. Even though it was rainy out everything seemed less stormy.

Status Update: Good!

Last night I picked up my son to give him a hug. He immediately poked at the diminishing zit/cyst on my chin. Actually it's one of two. Guess this means his eye sight is good. Since I began taking the Singulair again along with using a Clindamycin topical gel, my chin is looking better and better. Thank God, Yahweh, Jesus, Zeus and Oprah. Although I'm not sure what Oprah had to do with it. She probably thinks she's God.

My sinuses have really cleared up. The horrible rampant mucous is no longer a minute-by-minute occurence. Instead of nasal douching up to four times a day. I'm down to one time in the morning. I'm still experiencing some wheezing when I eat certain foods. I'm in denial that the NuGo g-free chocolate rice bars I eat may be a culprit. Although I had a banana, cherry, beet green, kale and raw cacao smoothie this morning and experienced zero wheezing. Yippee! So chocolate may be ok. Only time will tell.

Since I'm feeling better I've upped my cardio routine. I'm now running short intervals on the treadmill. Mom is gifting me a one year membership to a yoga studio. I'm excited about the combo of gym and yoga  over the next 12 months. One thing I've noticed is that extra hard cardio can leave me feeling stiff. The yoga is perfect for stretching me out plus helping me to feel limber.

Vegan cooking is coming more natural to me. I have several goto sites for recipe finding. Here's a short list of a few favs in case you're interested.

http://kblog.lunchboxbunch.com/
http://glutenfreegoddess.blogspot.com/
http://vegnews.com/
http://www.choosingraw.com/
http://www.findingvegan.com/

This weekend I'm attending the Veg Food Fest. Can't wait to report back. Hoping to snag some goodies.

Happy Vegday!

Favorites List

To offset my recent frustrating sinus days, I thought I'd share some things that make me happy. (Sorry sinus cavities you don't make the list.)

1.West Village Stroll
On my morning commute to work, I always get off the subway one stop early. This gives me a much needed ten minute walk and allows me to meander through the West Village every day. As I climbed the subways stairs at the Christopher Street stop this morning, I stepped into an elementary school Halloween parade. I walked behind Strawberrry Shortcake and Dracula, who were probably on their way to a high powered negotiation with Pinkalicious. The townhouses and courtyards were already decked out for the holiday.

I love gourds. ( I need a t-shirt with this motto.)

2. Yogi Tea
I always keep in my drawer at work at least two flavors of Yogi Tea. They're organic and each bag has attached to it an entertaining message. Today's reads:

I have no idea what this means. But I like the universe and dancing.

3. Stuff My Son Says
I keep a Word doc of all the funny, profound and unexpected things that my three-year-old son says. A few recent favs:

"What do you want to be for Halloween?"
"Trash."

"What'd you do at school today?"
"Slept."

4. Reading on the Subway
I used to really dread my commute to anywhere on the subway. I counted each stop. Held my breath. EAch ride was a source of absolute stress. Now, I look forward to each ride because I pull out the latest wellness related book I'm reading and immediately get immersed. I get so absorbed that I've missed a stop or two.

5. When my husband makes green juice.
I told my husband that green juice counteracts the negative effects that beer has on his body and that cleaning the juicer erases blemishes from his face.*

*This is a lie. My husband really loves me and is sweet enough to make juice for us and clean the juicer.

6. Tillecat
My cat turned 19 today. She takes 4 different meds and barely weighs five pounds. What's her secret to longevity? Sassiness!

7. Koyo Organic Brown Rice Chips
While in South Carolina, mom picked up these chips. Their ingredients are safe for me and they are delish. I eat them straight up or topped with guacamole and cultured veggies.

8. Ghost Stories
I love and at the same time fear ghost stories. One of my favorite shows is Ghost Hunters. When I was four-years old I saw an apparition in the first home I lived in in Camden, South Carolina and in my early thirites had another experience in Avignon, France at Le Mirande hotel. This past December, my mom had a midnight ghost run-in in Charleston, SC. Maybe it's timing? Or possibly southern Jews attract spirits...

9. Goji Berries
Pink and super tasty in gluten free oatmeal. They're a good source of protein, antioxidants, essential amino acids, and over 20 vitamins and minerals -- including vitamin A, C, and iron. Better than your average raisin. 

10. Rainbows
No favorites list is complete without rainbows.

Outside My Body Experience

I visited Dr. Firshein today for a flu shot and my third course of acupuncture. He asked how I was feeling. I explained that some days I feel really positive about all the changes I've made to my diet and health, while others I feel incredibly discouraged. I explained how I'm still getting an acute sinus reaction even when I eat something like a baked potato. He asked if I had rethought trying a course or oral antibiotics. I really want to try to go longer without this intervention. He completely respected my decision. He also commended all the dietary changes, pointing out my addition of green juices and smoothies. He said that this was truly helping my body.

He explained that the sinuses are kind of like storage units outside the body. (I immediately thought of Hannibal Lecter's storage unit. Hopefully my sinuses aren't harboring a severed head.) This is why they're so difficult to treat when they're infected. If you get an infection in your eye, you put drops in it. If you get one in your bladder, you take oral meds that reach your bladder via blood. But the sinuses are built outside the body. This faraway address makes it difficult for antibiotics to reach. But easy for antibiotic over use to cause harm in other parts of the body.

For my next outside my body experience, the doctor placed tiny needles on my forehead, cheeks, elbows and shins. He then taped electrical wires to my elbows and shins that feed a tiny current to my body.
This was to help put energy in my body. My previous acupuncture treatment made me feel truly energized. When I left the office, I felt like I was bouncing as I walked down the sidewalk. Today I feel pretty tired. I'm curious to see how I feel over the next day or two. I'm hoping for a power surge.